How Girlz Rate Guyz!

Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that girls have. Do you have a girl who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear Jeetendra’s white shoes? Or why she goes around with a screwball who can’t understand most of the things that she says to him but will still chirp in with dumb replies? Here’s a ready reckoner for you:

% Just A Friend %

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times I might say, “Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??” Rahul: “Where are you going Shilpa??” Shilpa: “None of your business” and bangs the phone (useless fellow! Hmmph!).

% Good Friend %

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you only when I really need you. Rahul calls: “Hi Shilpa”, Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye” (Shilpa calls back after two days) Shilpa: “What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?” Rahul: “Generally” Shilpa: “Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye” Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

% Very Good Friend %

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl. She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her. Shilpa: “You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl” Rahul: “Who is Shekhar??” Shilpa: “My boyfriend” Rahul: “Oh! Ok” :-(

% Best Friend %

You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you. And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun. Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul, you pay. I am having fun. Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares. Shilpa: “But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends. Rahul, try to understand I don’t see you in that way. Plus, I have a boyfriend you know that” Rahul: “What??” (Rahul drinks all night).

% Best Of The Bestest Friends %

Ok now you are really special. You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother- cum-everything. Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around. You make her project. You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach. You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area. Shilpa: “Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend”. Rahul: “Hi Shekhar” (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist). Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.

% Boyfriend %

Uh... No comments dude. You're already gone.

For all Rahul type guys? Make sure that you tell Shilpa about Mamta. And about Maya? And about Tina also? This will open Shilpa’s eyes!! Send it to boys to improve their Knowledge bank :0) Send it to girls who want to live in reality!!

Au revoir

P.S. This piece of article is doing rounds in my office in the form of much-loved forwarded emails and so I decided to publish it here on my blog.