6 Golden Rules at Your Workplace - Part II
In most of the companies in India, it’s that time of the year again when tempers run high, when everyone tries to show one-upmanship against others and when almost everyone is right and holds an opinion on almost anything related to his company. It is also the time when the management feels that all its decisions have been impartial and they are in the best interests of its employees and when the employees feel that they have been duped into a trap and sweet-talked into accepting something which they didn’t want to or at least which they thought they didn’t want to. If you haven’t guessed by now what I am referring to then maybe you should not read this further. It is only going to blur your sense of injected-satisfaction and could also (in some extreme cases) reverse your thought process leading to bouts of insanity and madness. For all those who have guessed by now, yes I’m referring to EVALUATIONS or PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS.
Everyone just loves gossiping about it. Everyone is eager to know about others’ evaluation more than they are eager to know about theirs’. With the approaching date for the announcement of results, almost everyone exponentially raises their hopes of getting a fat raise or a promotion or both. Unfortunately, the hierarchical structure and the economics of the companies handicap the management in making everyone satisfied and happy. While almost all the employees may get a decent raise (the absolute raise is again a matter of contention), only about 8-10% manage to get a promotion. I have intentionally used the phrase ‘manage to get a promotion’ because no matter how deserving you are, unless you make yourself promotable also, no one is going to give a damn about you. And because 95% of employees lack this quality of promotability, many deserving candidates don’t get promoted and half of those who get promoted are a complete jerk.
A long time ago, I had posted an article 6 Golden Rules at Your Work Place, which was based on my then 11-month of work experience. Here, I am going to elucidate some more golden rules, which can be used as a survival kit especially in the Indian corporate world. This set of rules is based on my latest 11-month of work experience albeit in a different company, 11 times the size of my last employer company.
1. Blow your Trumpets
Unarguably the most crucial tenet to follow in your journey of transmutation to Mr. Promotable is not to work hard but to blow hard your trumpets. You might be Einstein at your work but you are nobody until you also hang a placard around your neck screaming the words ‘I’m Einstein’. You might be regularly working for more than 15 hrs a day but you are perceived as a clumsy guy who doesn’t know how to manage his time well! So, what you should do to make your efforts acknowledged by your seniors? Theoretically nothing except sending a few emails! Every feat you accomplish at your workplace should be documented and sent in an email to every person worth a dime in your company. If you think you have done an amazing job which should come into CEO’s notice, DON’T HESITATE to mark him also in the email. What if you have done a very simple job, which even a 10th pass person could do, but still which made the client happy? Should you still send a self-laudatory mail to everyone? The answer is YES. The point is: at the end of the year, you are not judged by the quality of work but by the number of such emails.
2. Turn a Silly Mistake into a Blunder
If the last trait was oxygen then this one is water. You can’t be Mr. Promotable unless you have the right mix of both. You have been doing an amazing job for the last six months in your company but one bad job in the seventh month, or especially in the months towards the end of the appraisal cycle, is going to ruin your painstakingly-built reputation. In such cases Mr. Promotable would escalate the issues. What I mean is at the slightest hint of things going awry, everyone in your team right until the top should be made aware of the situation. By doing this, you are promoting brotherhood and at the same time turning an individual responsibility into a collective responsibility. So, if now anything goes wrong in the end, your neck will not be at the line because everyone had already anticipated the eventuality. The funny thing is: the higher the authority you will be including in the loop, the better the service you will be doing for yourself.
3. Periodic Visits to the Grandmaster
You do fantastic work at your workplace, impress your clients but still you are an egotistical fool who is a loner, doesn’t gel with the team and doesn’t even care about what happens in the team. Yes, this is how your seniors think about you if you don’t pay them regular visits. With all this buzz about leadership quality and team management you also have to make the top persons, who control all the strings, know what you think about your team, about the company policies affecting you and your team, about things to take care of i.e. you have to make the other person look from your eyes. You don’t have to discuss fancy stuff. It could be very simple things like the state of projects in your team, the skill-development of your team members, the general mood in your team etc. Whatever you discuss it should portray your concerns and worries about your team as a whole. The thing is everyone is concerned about his team but very few of us take the initiative to do something about it. So, the mantra is BE VOCAL.
4. Never Ever Lose It
One thing you should never ever lose in your entire corporate life at anywhere in the whole length and breadth of space and time is your temper. If you are at this side of the desk, it only makes the matters more complicated and doesn’t get your point across. If you are at the other side, it demeans your character, makes yourself look silly in front of your juniors, and from here it is an uphill task to re-build your reputation as a jolly superior. The point is no matter how right or correct you are, screaming doesn’t get you anywhere: you should always talk your way out.
5. Eat the Shit but Don’t Digest It
Fundas, fundas and fundas! In India at least (I haven’t been to any other country), everywhere you go you will always find someone who will be ready to give you his fundas. There are three kinds of people who will display such behavior. (1) The Conniving: these kind of people will give you fundas only and only for their benefit. Basically, these people want to get the work done by you and for this they will load you with all the corporate bullshit. Often, these people are found to be suffering from simulduoputomorbus wherein the afflicted person while giving fundas to some person actually thinks about fundas to be given to some other person. (2) The Preacher: these kind of people will give you fundas to establish their superiority and hence to satisfy their egos. These people have climbed the corporate ladder a level or two and now if they don’t give fundas to their juniors they think they are doing a disservice to their ego. No matter how baseless or how trivial their fundas might be the thing is they have to justify their positions at this level and for this matter are ever ready with their two-cents worth of terrible fundas. (3) The Habitual: these kind of people just can’t help it if they don’t offer their fundas. They have grown up giving fundas to others and it is like second nature to them. Having described the three kinds of funda-givers, the most dangerous breed is someone belonging to CATEGORY 1 (the conniving). YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER TRUST THE CONNIVING. Of course, recognizing him is going to take some time but still you should be on the lookout for such persons. The thing is they will act like they are your well-wishers but in reality they are just getting their work done from you.
6. You are Alone
You have a lot of friends at your workplace. You have friends at high positions (I am not talking about relatives). They would all sound very concerned about you and would always seem like doing something about it. Alright! But still it is you who are responsible for your growth and development at your workplace. Your friends might help you in some way or the other but at the end of the day everyone’s got to save his ass.
Au Revoir
P.S.
Some of you who have also read 6 Golden Rules at Your Work Place might feel that some of the points in this post are like old wine in a new bottle. If you feel like this, it just shows how crucial these points are and I have included them again just to reinforce their importance in the corporate world.
Some of you might find it unfathomable to even consider doing some of the things suggested in my post or find them outright against your ethics but who said that the corporate world was ever about ethics.
These survival tactics are to be adopted strictly in the Indian corporate world.
Everyone just loves gossiping about it. Everyone is eager to know about others’ evaluation more than they are eager to know about theirs’. With the approaching date for the announcement of results, almost everyone exponentially raises their hopes of getting a fat raise or a promotion or both. Unfortunately, the hierarchical structure and the economics of the companies handicap the management in making everyone satisfied and happy. While almost all the employees may get a decent raise (the absolute raise is again a matter of contention), only about 8-10% manage to get a promotion. I have intentionally used the phrase ‘manage to get a promotion’ because no matter how deserving you are, unless you make yourself promotable also, no one is going to give a damn about you. And because 95% of employees lack this quality of promotability, many deserving candidates don’t get promoted and half of those who get promoted are a complete jerk.
A long time ago, I had posted an article 6 Golden Rules at Your Work Place, which was based on my then 11-month of work experience. Here, I am going to elucidate some more golden rules, which can be used as a survival kit especially in the Indian corporate world. This set of rules is based on my latest 11-month of work experience albeit in a different company, 11 times the size of my last employer company.
1. Blow your Trumpets
Unarguably the most crucial tenet to follow in your journey of transmutation to Mr. Promotable is not to work hard but to blow hard your trumpets. You might be Einstein at your work but you are nobody until you also hang a placard around your neck screaming the words ‘I’m Einstein’. You might be regularly working for more than 15 hrs a day but you are perceived as a clumsy guy who doesn’t know how to manage his time well! So, what you should do to make your efforts acknowledged by your seniors? Theoretically nothing except sending a few emails! Every feat you accomplish at your workplace should be documented and sent in an email to every person worth a dime in your company. If you think you have done an amazing job which should come into CEO’s notice, DON’T HESITATE to mark him also in the email. What if you have done a very simple job, which even a 10th pass person could do, but still which made the client happy? Should you still send a self-laudatory mail to everyone? The answer is YES. The point is: at the end of the year, you are not judged by the quality of work but by the number of such emails.
2. Turn a Silly Mistake into a Blunder
If the last trait was oxygen then this one is water. You can’t be Mr. Promotable unless you have the right mix of both. You have been doing an amazing job for the last six months in your company but one bad job in the seventh month, or especially in the months towards the end of the appraisal cycle, is going to ruin your painstakingly-built reputation. In such cases Mr. Promotable would escalate the issues. What I mean is at the slightest hint of things going awry, everyone in your team right until the top should be made aware of the situation. By doing this, you are promoting brotherhood and at the same time turning an individual responsibility into a collective responsibility. So, if now anything goes wrong in the end, your neck will not be at the line because everyone had already anticipated the eventuality. The funny thing is: the higher the authority you will be including in the loop, the better the service you will be doing for yourself.
3. Periodic Visits to the Grandmaster
You do fantastic work at your workplace, impress your clients but still you are an egotistical fool who is a loner, doesn’t gel with the team and doesn’t even care about what happens in the team. Yes, this is how your seniors think about you if you don’t pay them regular visits. With all this buzz about leadership quality and team management you also have to make the top persons, who control all the strings, know what you think about your team, about the company policies affecting you and your team, about things to take care of i.e. you have to make the other person look from your eyes. You don’t have to discuss fancy stuff. It could be very simple things like the state of projects in your team, the skill-development of your team members, the general mood in your team etc. Whatever you discuss it should portray your concerns and worries about your team as a whole. The thing is everyone is concerned about his team but very few of us take the initiative to do something about it. So, the mantra is BE VOCAL.
4. Never Ever Lose It
One thing you should never ever lose in your entire corporate life at anywhere in the whole length and breadth of space and time is your temper. If you are at this side of the desk, it only makes the matters more complicated and doesn’t get your point across. If you are at the other side, it demeans your character, makes yourself look silly in front of your juniors, and from here it is an uphill task to re-build your reputation as a jolly superior. The point is no matter how right or correct you are, screaming doesn’t get you anywhere: you should always talk your way out.
5. Eat the Shit but Don’t Digest It
Fundas, fundas and fundas! In India at least (I haven’t been to any other country), everywhere you go you will always find someone who will be ready to give you his fundas. There are three kinds of people who will display such behavior. (1) The Conniving: these kind of people will give you fundas only and only for their benefit. Basically, these people want to get the work done by you and for this they will load you with all the corporate bullshit. Often, these people are found to be suffering from simulduoputomorbus wherein the afflicted person while giving fundas to some person actually thinks about fundas to be given to some other person. (2) The Preacher: these kind of people will give you fundas to establish their superiority and hence to satisfy their egos. These people have climbed the corporate ladder a level or two and now if they don’t give fundas to their juniors they think they are doing a disservice to their ego. No matter how baseless or how trivial their fundas might be the thing is they have to justify their positions at this level and for this matter are ever ready with their two-cents worth of terrible fundas. (3) The Habitual: these kind of people just can’t help it if they don’t offer their fundas. They have grown up giving fundas to others and it is like second nature to them. Having described the three kinds of funda-givers, the most dangerous breed is someone belonging to CATEGORY 1 (the conniving). YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER TRUST THE CONNIVING. Of course, recognizing him is going to take some time but still you should be on the lookout for such persons. The thing is they will act like they are your well-wishers but in reality they are just getting their work done from you.
6. You are Alone
You have a lot of friends at your workplace. You have friends at high positions (I am not talking about relatives). They would all sound very concerned about you and would always seem like doing something about it. Alright! But still it is you who are responsible for your growth and development at your workplace. Your friends might help you in some way or the other but at the end of the day everyone’s got to save his ass.
Au Revoir
P.S.
Some of you who have also read 6 Golden Rules at Your Work Place might feel that some of the points in this post are like old wine in a new bottle. If you feel like this, it just shows how crucial these points are and I have included them again just to reinforce their importance in the corporate world.
Some of you might find it unfathomable to even consider doing some of the things suggested in my post or find them outright against your ethics but who said that the corporate world was ever about ethics.
These survival tactics are to be adopted strictly in the Indian corporate world.
posted by Ankur Shanker @ 2:27 AM
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