Question Of Buying A Laptop

Day before yesterday I got my first laptop i.e. I actually bought one. And this is going to be my first post writing from my lappy :) I will tell you how this idea of buying a lappy for myself caught up with me. Ok.. let me first give you some background. Our house is a three-bedroom flat. My mummy runs a playschool or kindergarten and so it happenned that one of the rooms was straightaway grabbed by my mom, for her school kids. Now, my dad is posted in Assam and he comes home every two-three months for a week or so. When we shifted to this flat a year ago, the rooms were furnished according to things that would go into them and the most coveted room was destined to be a host to our desktop pc. And so it happened that it was furnished in such a way that that room and the desktop pc got wedded forever. I wanted a room all to myself but good things in life seldom come. At that time I was staying in the college hostel as I was in the 4th year of my engineering. This combined with the fact that as often is the case with the youngest in the family I along with my secret desire of occupying that room was ruthlessly relegated to the other room, the one without the desktop pc, and mom & sis shifted to the prized room.

I am a game freak and have often spent sleepless nights just playing those pc games. But things were to change. As both mom and sis are early-to-bed kinds of, so they wouldn't hear of my staying in their room when they had retired to sleep.

But the arrangement was fine to me. I hardly spent any time home as I was too accustomed to the hostel life that sometimes I preferred staying there rather than coming home. And I think that was normal because for the last 6 years I had stayed away from home and as such I had become kind of detached from my family. And now after completing my engineering degree I have a good job and still have to listen to constant bickerings, if I overstay my welcome in that room, and ofcourse in night only. Last time it happenned two weeks ago and there I decided that it had to end. And what an expensive way to solve a problem. I had a grand and magnificent idea...why dont I buy a laptop instead?

Considering the price of the lappy in comparison to what I earn, which I will tell you later, I am sure you must be thinking that I am mad. What an outrageously impulsive guy I am? And if you think so, you are not alone :)

The reason that I have mentioned above was not the only one that was instrumental in driving me into buying a lappy. There are a lot many others, which I will tell you some other time and I will also tell you how I financed my lappy!! Till then,

Au Revoir

Ramblings At Midnight

Its 12:30 am and I am sitting in the office for from tonight starts my one week night duty in the office, which comes every two months. I just realized it has been a week since I wrote anything on this blog.

I am glad that tonight I don't have any work to do, which ofcourse is a rarity. I am listening to Pink Floyd now and I must say that I must have listened to their every song atleast a thousand times but every time I hear them, they always have that fresh & crispy feeling as if they are just out of oven. No doubt, its my favorite and of millions others too.

Tonight my writing is not going to make any sense. So all those who dare to read this post, please don't even think of putting together the loose ends :) Before writing my own blog, I always used to think, why do people actually write blogs? Why do they have to go the internet and pour their hearts out? Are they not scared that any tom, dick & harry will come and read their thoughts and will make fun of their very writings, which they have labored over so painstakingly? And most of all, do they really have to share with the world their deepest secrets, which they wouldn't have dared to reveal otherwise? I am only a three month old infant in blogging and I think I already know all the answers!!

Sometimes you just need someone, someone close to you, with whom you can share all that you have always wanted to share. You want that special someone to listen to you without any bias or any preconceptions. And what could be a better place to do just that but Internet !! Just go there and write whatever you want to or have always wanted to write. You want to remain anonymous - your wish is granted. You don't really care if anybody reads your blog and if indeed somebody reads it, that is an added advantage. You have done your job i.e. you have rid yourself from the burden of carrying immense and sometimes annoying thoughts in your mind. I know I speak less or is it that I pretend I am reticent, I dont know. I am still at loggerheads over this contentious issue :) And I also know that like me there are lot many others who are better at writing their thoughts rather than expressing them verbally. Give me 5 minutes to write about something and I can produce a beautiful piece of writing on that but I will find it hard to express that same feeling verbally. And this is one more reason that I in particular and people in general have taken to blogging big time. This is an avenue to vent out my feelings and to bring some order in my cluttered brain.

I have a funny reason as well. Say when I am going to be 55 or 60, I can always go to my blog and live my life in retrospect. And then, I will have all the leisure time to review my life and that too in the kind of a logbook. Hehe..

One note of advice to novice bloggers... Dont start a blog just for the heck of it, because it is highly addictive. I have already started having the feeling that one day I am going to be a great writer.... hehe :)

Au Revoir

My Second Speech

This evening I delivered my second speech at the local Toastmasters Club. I took my audience on a journey to the top of the world i.e. the speech was all about trekking to the summit of Mount Everest. Five weeks ago, I had delivered my 1st speech there and it had turned out to be a splendid performance, which outdid even my expectations. As such, the audience was really looking forward to my speech this time and phew! I messed up this time. It was not that there was any technical flaw in my speech delivery but the damn thing is that I kept my both palms inside my pants' pockets all through my speech. And only once I had to give a long pause cos I had really forgotten a small detail. I think my voice had become monotonous during the speech. The speech lasted for 7min 12 sec. Anyways following are the comments and suggestions given by fellow toastmasters.

Opening might have been a bit detailed to let audience be dragged into it. Hands out of pocket. Slow pitch and breaks to let audience understand. You did not use any notes, good! Good part of information.

- Arvind Gupta (my personal evaluator for the evening)

Good speech, loud and clear. You did not use any notes - very good! Your both hands were mostly inside the pockets - try avoiding it in your next speech.

- Naresh Kantoor

An interesting start - you were very fast: slow down! Remove your hands from your pockets. Please practise or rehearse your speech a little more before delivering it. You made the journey to the top of the world sound easy - When do we go?

- Deepak Menon

Great topic, well structured. I liked the way you took us on a journey.

- Janet

A good topic, which could have been delivered with much more panache. Hands in pocket are a total no-no. In the earlier speeches work with topics that you are familiar with. Practise in front of a mirror. Good work on sentence construction and use of language.

- Vikram

Good beginning - were a little fast and should have taken your hands out of your pockets. Good use of words. No use of notes - good! Good structure & phrases well added. A job well done.

- Prerna

Very nice topic, good story. It was very informative to me. Next time keep your hands out of your pocket. Practise your speech. You were breaking up during sentences.

- Sudhir

Lost the tempo in between. Good use of words. Could have made small notes before coming so that technical points could have been spoken. Good Speech.

- Joy

Hands in pockets - totally out of question. Good voice. Confident. Had humor. Informative, but perhaps too complicated for an ordinary person. Good finish.

- Sriram

The adventure captured through words was a valiant effort. Famous last words too. Open up by focusing on removing your hands from pockets.

Good beginning. Good choice of topic. Were too fast. Speaking slowly would have added effectiveness. Be relaxed and use your hands. Nice ending. Very well researched.

Structured speech delivery. Good build up. Hands should have been out of pockets.

Good beginning. Imagery evoking choice of words. Keep your hands out of pockets. Informative speech.

Very nice topic selection. No use of notes (should have referred to in the middle). Better eye contact should be there. Why hands in pockets?? Restricted body/hand movements.

Fine opening. Nervousness visible. The voice modulation is an area of concern, sounds great in the beginning but becomes monotonous. One good point I noted is the tremendous research on the topic. You know you used notes?

- Sachin

You were not at all good.

- MYSELF

I will make sure that my next speech is going to be a bomb :)

Au Revoir

WHAT, You Don't Have A Role Model ?

Most people have their role models. Fortunately or unfortunately I dont have any. I have often wondered what would I answer in an interview if ever asked this awkward question. But what do I do if I really dont have one. I have often heard politicians and people of repute lamenting on the fact that the younger generation doesnt have any role models to guide them. So, is that something to worry about? In my opinion - A BIG NO.

You grow up watching so many people, young and old, rich and poor, benevolent and malevolent, happy and sad and people from all spheres of life. You also probably get a chance to come in contact with them or atleast with a few of them. You read about great men from the past, about men who strove tirelessly for the betterment of society, about men who made giant leaps in the field of science and technology and also about great men who are still doing all this and much more. And during this process you develop your likings and dislikings. You suddenly start realizing that you have always hated that person or for that matter another person was always your best friend. And the person you start hating has the most repugnant, presumptuous and contemptible behaviour ever known to mankind, irrespective of his/her good qualities. Not surprisingly, the person you start liking has the most agreeable, congenial and loving attitude and you tend to overlook his/her less than agreeable qualities. But through writing all this what am I driving at?

In my last post I wrote that we run after money. Funnily enough and ironically our choice of role models is also influenced by money. You read a real-life rags to riches story and all of a sudden its protaganist becomes your role model. Would you have given the same status to that person had he come straight out of a real-life riches to rags story. You think your role model is some great sportsperson, say a famous cricketer or a hugely successful tennis player but the question is: why are they your role models? Because they are famous and successful and consequentially they are rich also. You want to emulate their success because you yourself want to be rich. You would certainly not give the same privelege to a street player who might be as good a cricket or tennis player as the professional ones. Now you would ask, if he is so good at his game then why hasn't he been able to become a professional and again rich and famous. To this I would say, not everybody in this world is given the same opportunity or favorable circumstances, which would enable him/her to reach to the top. And ofcourse if everybody reached the top, who would remain at the bottom?

So, we are back to square one. Money, money and money. Select your role models according to their wealth and market value.

I am talking about role models. What are role models? They are just as human as I am! The only difference being they have done things which I could not do and I dont even hope to do. The fact is I dont even want to do. Infact, why should I? Most people usually have one role model and in some cases they might have more than one also. In my case, the whole world is my role model. Every person I come in contact with instantly becomes my role model. Reason: I try to take all the good qualities from the other person and try to inculcate them within my behaviour and I discard all the bad points. I know I am sounding utopian but I know I am far from being perfect.

Au Revoir

Six Pence And Solitude

In his small life what does a man look for?

Many would say that he is only after wine, women and money. Others will say that he is searching for happiness. Perhaps he is discovering the former by working for the latter. And still many would say that they really dont have a clue as to what is the meaning of this absurd question. But isnt it a known fact that no matter how conspicuously one professes that he is not in the mad rush for money but rather happiness; he is only trying to fool himself. For how can one enjoy or be happy when he is penniless. So does it conclude anything? Yes... that the ulterior motive of our existence on this earth is to earn money and more money and so on.

But do you also realise that you gotta earn real big!! With an average life span of say 65 years and with the rising inflation rates and with what not reasons, which somehow always seem to make you poorer, to maintain the same standard of living or hopefully much better when compared to as of now, you will have to work like an intelligent dog until your last breath on earth. So when do you get the much yearned-after time to relax and enjoy your life.

Again, isn't our average lifespan of just 65 years much too small when compared with the time in cosmic sense. You are born and by the time you reach your deathbed, you might have met dozens of aquaintances and influenced directly or indirectly dozens others or in some cases the figure might run into hundreds or even millions, but have you ever pondered over how many of those are going to remember you after you are turned into ether and does it really matter even if they remembered you and that too for centuries to come? In my opinion, not a scintilla. We say we want to be happy. We are working hard in order to earn money, which in turn will keep our loved ones happy. And they work hard to keep their loved ones happy. In a way everybody is just trying to keep others happy and they are doing this mechanically with a mental block thinking that they are indeed trying to acheive nirvana for themselves. Its a vicious circle. So we are back to square one: do we really have some quality time for ourselves and when we say we want to enjoy our lives, are we indeed talking about our lives?

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I recently read two great books written by equally great authors.

The Moon and Six Pence by William Somerset Maugham.

Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

The reason I have mentioned these books is that they have tried to answer the above mentioned questions, though partially and contradictorily.

In 'The Moon And Six Pence', the author has tried to portray a character who can go to any length just to follow his desires. The fictional Charles Strickland had a pretty wife, two lovely children, a beautiful daughter who was sure to transform into a lovely damsel and who would certainly marry the most suitable bachelor and a son who would surely develop into an athletic and handsome young lad whose career in the army was inevitable, and a cushy and comfortable job of a stock broker. Everything was normal in his life. He was the perfect husband and father. They were assured to lead a comfortable and happy life until they died. But he was not happy. There was something amiss in his life. So, one fine day he renounced his family and job and went to Paris in order to settle there. The reason: he thought Paris would give him a better environment to indulge in his only passion which was painting. In contrast to everybody's apprehensions and absurd conjuctures about his sudden departure, he was staying there in abject poverty. But he did not complain because he was enjoying his solitude and the freedom to paint anything, anywhere and at any time.

Is that what it is to chase one dreams and work only for your own happiness irrespective of what others and your family think about you? He was so indifferent and brutal to everybody he came in contact with that he was always ungracious and never thankful for whatever his friends would do for him. His only aim in life was to paint and when he realised that Paris also didnt give him the abode he was looking for he went to Tahiti. His best years were spent there. Until his last breath on earth he never once complained of his penury or of his ailness as he was afflicted with leprosy in his last few years. I dont think that he even had the right to complain for this was his own decision. He never sold any of his paintings. I think he died content for he had the satisfaction that his life had not been a waste.

The book was certainly a good read. And it shows how different people can have their own myriad definitions of happiness. Charles Strickland's idea of turning into a hermit to pursue his desires was a ridiculous and absurd idea for most people but to him it was the culmination of his long repressed ambitions and their subsequent fulfillment.

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Jose Arcadio Buendia, the name, does it ring any bells inside your ears? It will not if you haven't read 'Hundred Years of Solitude'. Before taking it up I was a little apprehensive about reading it because it was my first book by the author and moreover a good 422 pages of it :) But start reading it and the story grips you until the very last page. It reads like a fairy tale.

Jose Arcadio Buendia discovered a newland secluded from the whole world and his family along with the first settlers laid the foundation stone for a happy and prosperous village and christened it Macondo. It was surely a happy village for its people were hard-working and through their labour they had made it self-sufficient also. They had never needed to contact the world outside their village. Neither they were interested in the petty politics played between the labours and the conservatives nor they had any fleeting concern about the government and its useless and often conflicting policies. Jose Arcadio Buendia was a dreamer and would often venture into unprofitable and insane projects on his own. Despite this he made sure that his village was always on the path of development. If there was anyone who was as tireless as he was but practical at the same time, it was his wife Ursula. She would run about the whole family house trying to join the loose ends, taking care of the needs of every family member and guests as well and giving her sage advice. Until her very end she was the soul of the house.

Colonel Aureliano Buendia, the second son of Jose Arcadio Buendia was a self-decorated colonel. There was no cemetry in the village for it had never seen a death. But one incident changed his life. Patrol guards of the conservative government had killed an innocent woman and his son. From that night on he had turned into a rebel. He collected some of his most trusted friends and they set about the country in hopes of routing out the conservatives. It was an all out war against the government. And they were pretty successful at it too for from a small group of few men they had grown into an effective organisation of 2000 men active across the length and breadth of the country. Colonel Aureliano Buendia survived many attempts at his life. By the time he retired from his lifelong rebel he was a respected figure all over the country and even the government realized that fact.

Jose Arcadio Buendia and Ursula's family was very big. Four generations are intertwined in a labyrinth of relationships interspersed with wild romances and tragedies. It is a story that makes you realize the folly of existence. Every member of the Buendia family who was ever born is made to die before the story ends and the whole family along with entire Macondo is wiped of off the face of the earth. No character in the story, except Remedios the beauty for she had never belonged to this earth, died content with his or her life. Ofcourse, they had to die one day but you don't feel sad or unhappy at their demise, rather you have a feeling of pity towards them and you feel relieved that they indeed died. No matter the characters were how jovial or nonchalant but there was always an air of solitude about them and a feeling of unbelonging to this world always clung to them. And this feeling gripped them until they met their deathbeds. It is a fascinating story of struggle and perseverance, of practicality and insanity, and of wild and nurtured relationships all at the same time.

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In writing this article I think I might have contradicted and recontradicted myself but then this life is also full of contradictions.

Au Revoir