I Am ZORBA

Since yesterday I am feeling very happy. Frankly speaking even I dont know what might be the reason. Wait a minute!! I think I have a vague idea.

There's a book 'Zorba The Greek' by Nikos Kazantzakis. Despite being a part of the material world, the protaganist, Zorba, lives in a world of his own. If there is anything he is never tired of is that he always tries to make people around him happy. And he is very successful at it. Even when he deceives his enemy, though he has no enemy in the literal sense, or when he tries to take advantage of an uneven situation he always make sure that even the losing party goes home merrily and doesn't lose even a wink of sleep. Though he may not be handsome but his deeds make him desirable and his company the most sought after. He is happy because he doesn't associate his happiness with others. That does not imply that he does not care for his loved ones. He loves them dearly. But only if they reciprocate the same feelings that he has towards them. He can find joy in life's little pleasures or rather nature's little wonders, which most people will overlook. His heart will leap with joy when he will hear a bird sing or his feet will start thumping the ground and he will start dancing all alone the moment rain's first drops will touch the earth. But it would be a mistake to think that he is one silly fellow devoid of worldly wisdom and living in his fictitious world. On the contrary, he is as shrewd and practical as anybody can be. Rather he is better acquainted with the ways of the world than most people.

I think there has been a transformation within me. Ever since I read the book I have always aspired to be like Zorba but since yesterday I am feeling as if I AM ZORBA. I don't know what or who prompted this change but I am happy.

Around six months ago, a friend of mine read a poem to me. And that poem had an indelible effect on me. Whenever I am sad or feeling down I just read it again and I am thoroughly rejuvenated ready to take on life with full ardor and zeal.

The poem is.......

INVICTUS

by William Ernst Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

I am in office right now sitting inside my cubicle. We have recently finished a major project and after many days of hard work we really have some time to ourselves. In appreciation of our work, everybody involved in this particular project is given a one week paid leave. So everybody is busy making plans for the holiday.

Right now I am listening to this beautiful song 'Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses' by U2.

You're dangerous 'cause you're honest

You're dangerous, you don't know what you want

Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot

For any spirit to haunt

You're an accident waiting to happen

You're a piece of glass left there on the beach

Well you tell me things I know you're not supposed to

Then you leave me just out of reach

Who's gonna ride your wild horses

Who's gonna drown in your blue sea

Who's gonna ride your wild horses

Who's gonna fall at the foot of thee

and so on.........

Au Revoir

New Discoveries About Myself

In the last few days a lot of people have made me realized so many things that I have lost count of them. Let me remember a few of them....

I used to think that I was a reticent guy who liked to keep his thoughts to himself. But on the contrary I have become convinced that I am not all that bad a conversationalist. Instead I can really make people laugh and talk at length about anything.

And I am mad. Because I tickle the street dogs.

And I am not a good driver. Because I drive too fast.

And I say all the right things but only at the wrong time. Now who would say that 'you look beautiful' when a girl is shit scared of whatever reason.

And people can easily read my thoughts. Though I hate that. Because why would I like somebody to know what exactly is going on inside my mind.

And I jump to conclusions too soon which in recent past have cost me friendships that were too precious to lose. So from now onwards, I am going to be infinitely patient, judicious and prudent in exercising my faculties. I am going to respect my friends' feelings and I am going to make sure that I don't disappoint anybody.

Rest I will write when I can remember them.

Time now to go and tickle some cute street dogs.

Adios

Dreamy Weather

Lo behold! For you are witnessing

nature's fury in all its glory,

so spend thy precious moments in basking in its aura,

before you vanish into ether and become airy!

The weather here is just too good and you cannot help writing anything about it. Its been raining here since last two days. And a lost soul like me is indeed enjoying his moments in rain. Right now I am listening to 'Learning to Fly' by Pink Floyd, 'Kiss Me' by Six Pence None The Richer and the ending speech given by Kevin Spacey from the movie American Beauty. I must tell you that in such an invigorating weather this is a lethal combination to send you into your deepest thoughts.

So I am off to my dreams.......

Is 1984 A Distant Possibility?

Two days ago I read Animal Farm by George Orwell. And a few minutes ago I put down his masterpiece - 1984. And already my mind is beclouded in so many thoughts. Reading this book somehow reminded me of Steven Spielberg's movie Minority Report. Can a totalitarian and yet supposedly a socialist welfare regime as portrayed in the book exist today or for that matter in the near future? Is that future really not far off when your thoughts will be known and you will be caught for deeds which you would presumably do in the future? Or is it just a matter of time before humans will cease to be humans and living out their lives mechanically as dictated to them? Is the present technology really capable of taking that definite and giant leap into the future when it would be possible to put each person's life under scanner and his every action will be watched upon?

Aren't these questions just as intriguing as the thought itself? I think George Orwell had a great insight of dwelling on the subject. After reading the book even I am convinced that past is really mutable. Who would deny that 2+2=5 if nobody ever proved that 2+2=4? 2+2 can just as well be 3 0r 6 0r 7! If the entire history of mankind save last 20 years be rewritten falsified, modified, remodified and again modified without any allusion to the past and the entire records pertaining to before that time made to vanish from the face of the earth...200 years hence people might as well say that the humanity came into existence only 200 years ago for then there would be nobody or nothing to refute that idea. And people will happily grasp and learn whatever will be drummed into their ears. They will submissively cling to the idea that theirs' is the utopian society regardless of their inhuman and wretched condition for then they will have no other model society to compare with. The meaning of the word 'utopian' will itself have lent to distortion and mutated beyond comprehension.

I can only hope that mankind never has to see the dawn of such an indifferent and malicious government where not only people will live under constant fear but their very ambitions and hopes will also die out.

I have written so much about this topic. But do I really care a bit about such a hypothesis becoming a reality? Frankly speaking, not at all because I am convinced that with so many sane and honest persons around; the society I just talked about doesn't stand a chance to come up! And even if it does, atleast I will not be there to witness that.

Au Revoir

Crazy Turns Insane

All my friends always had an inkling that I was somewhat mad or rather I was on the threshold of being a lunatic. And after what I did today, they have pronounced me a mad person forever.

For the last two days, Rain Gods have taken mercy on this place and lo its raining cats and dogs. The weather is just amazing and I think in such a lovely weather only sane persons can go to their offices and work all day long.

But what would a freak like me do?

He will miss his office :)

And he will go on a long drive all alone.

And so, there I went to the NH1 and drove at crazy speeds all the way to Panipat, which is 120 kms from where I stay. Funnily enough I didnt stay there even for a minute. Just as I reached the outskirts I raced back to my place. All along, the weather was just fine. At times there were torrential rains and sometimes absolute sereneness. I might be a lunatic but what does matter is I enjoyed like hell.

My First Successful Speech

This evening I delivered my first ever successful speech in public, at the Toastmasters Club. It was my Icebreaker. And following are the comments and suggestions given by fellow toastmasters.

Good beginning. Excellent speech. Confident. Used body language. No nervousness. Practice to complete your speech within time limit.

This was given by the personal evaluator of my speech – Shouvik

Congrats – Ankur.. You were brilliant. I liked your confidence. Something from the present would have done wonder. Use hands.. don’t keep at back.
– Shailja

Very good start. You are confident and talented. I look forward to your future projects.
- Pradeep Dutt

You are very confident as a speaker. Well begun speech – you could have kept the introduction a bit short. You sway while standing – it’s a bit distracting! There was vivid imagery in your anecdote about Manali – well done! We got to know you very well!
- Deepak Menon

Humorous. Good Start. Speech topics linked with each other.
No chronological order adopted – was that intentional? Good body language – no signs of nervousness. Said “Actually” many no. of times.
- Anuradha

Came to know about a ‘prolific’ & successful artist. You structured your talk into points. Suggested in next speeches – minimize use of filler words e.g. There was that, you know.
- Manu Maudgal

You have a rich clear voice. Could work on your pacing – smoothing it out. A well structured speech. Enjoyed your sense of humor.
- Janet

You are a good story teller – very confident. Good choice of words & good body language. Very well done! I am sure you will be a good speaker. Very soon!
- Narendra Sharma

Your opening – Fantastic. Pause, keep it natural, not learnt. It’s your own life, be proud of yourself. You have the courage to call yourself names & funny!! Good.. You have natural speaking skills, work on them. Leave your body loose! Keep it up!
- Vidhu

Good – You were confident. You shouldn’t sway while speaking. Interesting description of the trek, humor well incorporated.
- Prerna

Very good start. All the best.
- Rajan

Good introduction. Good confidence. Could drink some water before the speeches to overcome sound of dry throat. Repetition of “actually”. Good Show.

Standing posture a little stiff. Voice modulation is good. Know where to pause. Eye contact not proper, seems lost at times. Usage of “actually” too much.

Great speech. Good insight of Ankur. Keep it up. Try to be more confident. Time your speech.

Very good start, quite narrative.

And I must say that even I was impressed with the way I delivered my Icebreaker :)

A Swimming Experience

We all love rain and probably many of us really enjoy getting all drenched in it, which in itself is a pleasure....isn't it? And I think I am one of those who can enjoy rain even inside a swimming pool :) Almost two summers ago on a beautiful morning, when I came home after a swimming session I was in such a jolly mood that the first thing I did was to pen the following lines....

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Water-water everywhere,but
I am not a novice player.
The sky was shuddering,the clouds were roaring,
and amidst the threatening waters,
there I was swimming.

Trying to keep up my balance,
mustering every ounce of courage to stay cool,
All of a sudden,a bolt of lightening struck,
and I found myself thrown to the bottom of the pool.

Amazement,and not dread of death,gripped me
for what I witnessed is beyond explanation,
the spectre was breath-taking,
because not some astray lover,but
a ray of light was serenading.

Millions of raindrops came crashing down,
hammering the surface with their sheer fury,
a fierce battle was raging on,
as to which raindrop would conquer the territory.

But,beneath the surface,an altogether different game was going on,
Disappearing raindrops and rays of light were busy,
playing hide and seek,
simultaneously flirting with each other,
finally when i came to the surface all alive,
the atmosphere was as serene as if nothing had happened there.

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Hope you enjoyed swimming with me....

My Example of Notoriety

I still vividly remember the scene depicted in the next few lines. I was then in 10th class. The school had gotten over and we were waiting for the Sir to arrive to take his extra class on Civics. And then.....we created this pandemonium :)

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I can go to the Principal's office
I can bear a dentist and write an
imposition given by any teacher
But,the most horrible and irksome experience
is to be caught up in action by the preacher.

With my friends,in the corridor,on my wheels
I was jumping and flying on heels
As an initiatory,throwing on each other chalks,
we were enjoying our talks.
Screaming and banging window panes
in joy,we ignored our pains
with all this and infringing the rules
we made a hell of heaven in the school.

At once we caught hold of our nerves
we tried to control our undulating speeds by putting on jerks
To be caught up red-handed we were on the verge
with the surroundings it took a minute to merge
nothing but a teacher emerged.

Giving a stare,he fixed
himself on the stair
in the gruesome atmosphere,we found
ourselves inglorious before him
We felt jittery and remained
statusque like anything
Drenched in sweat from top to bottom
we were stolen of our jolly blossom.

The teacher was enraged and very furious
under grimness,he found himself intransigent with us
with the punishment given we were deprived of
our Freedom and were stuck to the class
And finally we felt guilty of us.

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And funnily enough I wrote this right there in the class instead of concentrating on the lecture.

Sleeping in Office

I am in office right now and if i could find a couch i would have probably thrown myself onto it and dozed off :-zzz ah..oh..yawn..i am feeling so much sleepy and i have so much work to do and on top of that i have to go somewhere.......dont know how am i gonna manage all that..

au revoir